Kairos moments: From doubts to deepened relationships

When I got to college in Ellensburg, Wash. I wanted to walk away from Christianity. I just didn’t know if it was for me anymore. I battled with what I really believed, whether or not I still wanted to be a Christian.

I grew up in church my entire life. My parents were some of the first people to go to the church they attended, so a lot of my childhood was following in my parents’ shadow. Everyone knew and admired my parents. So the religious and routine aspects of Christianity became second nature to me, but I didn’t realize how much I hadn’t decided what I believed for myself until I moved almost 3 hours away to go to college.

College was my first time being independent, where I could make my own decisions. I realized I could either keep pursuing Christianity or try experiencing some other things. A lot of people do that—they come to college to try the party scene, to drink and have sex. They feel like they can do whatever they want since they’re not home anymore.

I couldn’t really see the value of staying Christian, but my roommate and I decided we would visit some churches around Ellensburg anyways. Neither of us really understood why a church like Resonate Church would meet on a college campus, so we tried all the rest of the churches first but didn’t really fit anywhere. Finally, we decided to try Resonate, and when we did I immediately fell in love with it. I said to myself, “I’m going to try this for a month and just see what happens.”

But I still hadn’t fully decided if I even wanted to be Christian anymore. Even as I got plugged into a small group at Resonate and started meeting with Jessica Dahl, I still didn’t know for sure. But the more I got connected with Resonate, the more I realized I’d never experienced community like this before. These people who didn’t even know me for very long actually cared about me. It made a huge impact on me.

At Resonate Church, we talk about “kairos moments,” moments at a crossroads when you feel like God is speaking to you or leading you. One night at small group we were talking about kairosmoments, and I started telling the group my feelings and doubts about staying Christian. I said, “I don’t think God is speaking to me at all. I feel abandoned, and I’m really angry because I don’t know if any of this is true or not.” And one of my friends in the group told me, “You need to read the book of James.” Everybody agreed.

So I read James 1, and verse 22 talks about being a doer of the word and not just a hearer. That was my kairos moment—God really spoke to me through that verse, and I realized I’d been living my life my own way. I’d been trying to make my own rules instead of pursuing Jesus and living missionally. I recommitted my whole life over to Him then.

Soon after, I got baptized at Resonate Church. It was my way of making my faith my own and saying, “Yes, I really do believe this.” I’m following Jesus with my whole heart now. I’m wanting to go into ministry, something I never knew I wanted before.

Without God working through Resonate Church or the Dahls, I may not even be a Christian today. I’m so thankful to God for bringing me here.

For more information about Resonate Church and the Dahls, visit the Missionaries page at anniearmstrong.com.

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